Sabtu, 31 Juli 2010

800 Died in Pakistan's Floods


It's so sad and scary . 




While the world is worried about stupid things, 800 people -and the number is rising- have died in Pakistan's Floods, Mainly in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Province.




Bashir Ahmed Bilour, a provincial minister in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Said that "Many of the victims died when floodwaters swept away hundreds of mud houses in parts of Swat Valley and the districts of Shangla and Tank".




 The floods have also cut the roads to  Swat Valley and the districts of Shangla and Peshawar. 
"  The recent torrential rains have broken all previous records of rainfall in the country" according to a government official. 




Hundreds are homeless and in need of food , shelter and aid. the world needs to help ASAP.  



Update: The number of dead is over 1000 as reported today. August 1st.

Jumat, 30 Juli 2010

Ramadan and I


Let me start by saying that i know this post might upset a lot of people, so if you get offended if things aren't your ways then please stop reading :)

It's simply was not a happy or spiritual month my whole life.

We are a screwed up family and in Ramadan we were-are- even worse.
My eldest brother who grow up to be the controller of the house-although my father was there- ruined our life in so many ways, i can write volumes about how he control us and destroy us-and we are not alone in this, this is a huge phenomena in Saudi Arabia ( the literally big brother thing)- .
And Ramadan was his best month to yell, hit and order us like animals in the house.
When did we wake up?
What to do ?
What not to do?
 what to eat?
how to eat it?
...etc.
The time of Iftar -breaking your fast- was the worst.
Remember what the prophet said about the two delights of those who are fasting and that one of them is when he/she breaks his fasting .Well we never knew this delight thanks to our eldest brother and the fear he put in us during the day and thinking how shall we obey him during iftar of what to eat and how to eat it, what to say or better not to say.
We were on the tip of our toes around him.


Then he got married and another brother took his place, this time it was the youngest one.
The problem is he didn't control us to do and not to do or lucky us even what to eat.
But most days he is drunk , yet he had to be on the table. Any words from my mother or father could trigger him and things will be .......( sorry can not find a word to describe it).
He was drunk and of course not fasting during the day and yet demand that mt mother cook for him whatever he wishes, and if she says no , then anything might happen to her.
We were on the tip of our toes around him.


Then we finally got the courage to get rid of him and now we have the middle one, he had to participate, hadn't he? . Come one , it wouldn't be good for his reputation not getting in the rule of the Saudi brother. Things are a bit easier compared to those two but still awful.
And We still on the tip of our toes around him


Ramadan was never a holly month in our home no matter how much we try.
It's the month were we all have to gather and gathering is bad in our family.
It's never a spiritual month, people can break their fast in a second , claiming that they are sick or have this and that. You never know the importance of fasting or the meaning behind it. You just fast cuz the whole world is fasting and that's that. The Quran would be pulled out of drawers and it would be dusted and then forgotten a few days later.

There was and is the pressure that if you do this it's OK but if you don't do this then you are less religious and bad person, oh yea pressure from the same people who got no idea what is the purpose of Ramadan.


Through my whole 36 years, Ramadan was and is the worst month in our house and i never understand people's happiness when it's close or their sadness when it's over. It is always the happiest day when Ramadan is over.


The next worst days were the days of Eid AL-Fitr. But they were-are- kinda OK because they are only a few days and a few hours of these few days. That's how we celebrate it or don't. Eid was and is awful because all the above reasons plus having to meat my mother's family. Which is the worst meetings always. They hate us and no one can blame them, who would love a dysfunctional family like ours.


So yea i do greet people " Happy Ramadan and Eid" but they are never happy here and this year they are not gonna be any different. Life is already worse.


I know some would think " STOP IT", you are a grown up woman and all the above are excuses and that we are the ones who make our own future and blah blah blah.
Just let me tell you this and i am not asking for sympathy here, it's just cuz i have read those comments before. Yesterday's prayer before sleeping was " Please God end my life right now".

In short, don't judge people unless you are in their shoes. And next time someone say they don't like Ramadan then maybe they have a good reason not to and it's not because they are not good Muslims.

Another reason to Lose Weight


 Midges love tall men and overweight women , Scientists at Aberdeen University and Rothamsted Research have found.

The study showed that ( tall men and overweight women were statistically more likely to get bitten, the research showed. Midges tend to fly well above head height so, when they descend on groups of people, they are more likely to land on tall men first. The survey found some evidence that women with a large body mass index were also favoured by midges, perhaps because they produce more of the chemicals, such as carbon dioxide and lactic acid, that attract the insects. It is likely that overweight men are just as much at risk of midge bites, but there were too few in the survey to stand out). 
while some are lucky enough to be called "unattractive" as the study explains (The researchers confirmed a previous intriguing finding – that some people seem to be unattractive to midges. They found 15% were rarely bitten, and the impunity ran in families, suggesting a genetic link.
"People who don't get bitten produce natural repellents that are extremely effective," said James Logan, an entomologist who worked on the survey.
The tests showed those who were spared midge attacks produced a specific mixture of two chemicals, geranylacetone and methylheptenone.
"The chemicals work together. If you mix them in the right ratio, you get a fantastic repellent," Logan said.  


So there you are my fellow "overweight-extra weight-a few kilos or pounds" women, this is a good reason to lose the extra weight we have been eager to lose. Unless you want to be called "unattractive" by a bunch of midges : 0



Kamis, 29 Juli 2010

Burn the Quran



So a group called themselves ( Dove World Outreach Center) who claimed to be a Christian Church decided to Burn the Quran  on the ninth anniversary of September 11 . 

The group's Face Book says :- 
( On September 11th, 2010, from 6pm - 9pm, we will burn the Koran on the property of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, FL in remembrance of the fallen victims of 9/11 and to stand against the evil of Islam. Islam is of the devil!) 

The group is known for publicly condemning what it considers sins like homosexuality ,same-sex marriage and abortion before.

"We only did it because we felt there needed to be an outcry against Islam, because Islam is presenting itself as a religion of peace,”   Dr. Terry Jones says. Dr. Jones is senior pastor of Dove World Outreach Center.
“We see the effects of Islam on Europe. As it has done nothing, Islam is beginning to take over there,” he added.

CAIR, The Council on American-Islam Relations has responded to this call wisely by announcing an educational “Share the Quran” dinner on Sept. 11, which falls during Ramadan. 
Ibrahim Hooper, national communications director of CAIR said "American Muslims and other people of conscience should support positive educational efforts to prevent the spread of Islamophobia,", 
Which i believe should apply to all people and groups. We should accept all and everyone whether we agree with their lifestyle , religion, creed or whatever they believe in or not. That's the only way to stop hate. 

Jones said that he has invited Muslims to come to the 9/11 Quran burning event and is willing to dialogue with them during the activity. Well, that's not a way to know someone , understand and respect them. You can not put the sword on their nick and claim that you are listening to them. 
He said to those Christian critics who say the Quran burning event is not the way to show Christian love to Muslims “Most people who criticize are also the people who don’t do anything,” said Jones. “If they do not like our method – they don’t have to like our method, they don’t have to adopt our method – then they should do something themselves,” he said, proposing they go door-to-door to distribute Christian literature about the love of Jesus. 

Where is he from Jesus's words , that says 

5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
  
   5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
  
   5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children
   of God.


We all can claim to be talking in the name of our peaceful religions and follow in its footsteps, but only our actions will tell the truth. 


All i am hoping is that we respond to this wisely and calmly. Yes, we do love our religion like everyone else's  love their religion. And i know how emotional  we can get and " the to do something stupid "will be called ,of course. But that's all is not necessary. 

Those who are in America can protest and it's your right to do so. If you can not stand seeing the Quran being burn then protest somewhere else. But let your peaceful voice be heard not that angry and mad voice. 

CAIR call is very important and helpful. You can join that or held a similar talk in your city or community. And this is not only in America but everywhere else in the world. 

Let's not give this group what they want, a life show of the violence of Islam. 


Again, 

7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not
   prophesied in your name? and in your name have cast out devils? and in
   your name done many wonderful works?
  
   7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from
   me, you that work iniquity.
   


P.S: The words in blue are my opinion. 



Sources :



Selasa, 27 Juli 2010

Depression


I know many of us use the word " Depression"  lightly. We use it when we are sick sometimes, if we are a bit sad or feel upset or mad . If we are faced with a sad or tough situation and we couldn't apprehend it then we say we are depressed. 

We use the same Arabic word مكتئب , اكتئاب also very lightly. 

I know i do but i am trying to avoid such big words, cuz i believe of the power of words. And we shouldn't be disrespectful with illness that other may suffer severely with. 


But what is depression ? 

According to depressionalliance.org ,The word 'depression' is used to describe everyday feelings of low mood which can affect us all from time to time. Feeling sad or fed up is a normal reaction to experiences that are upsetting, stressful or difficult; those feelings will usually pass.

If you are affected by depression, you are not 'just' sad or upset. You have an illness which means that intense feeling of persistent sadness, helplessness and hopelessness are accompanied by physical effects such as sleeplessness, a loss of energy, or physical aches and pains.
Sometimes people may not realise how depressed they are, especially if they have been feeling the same for a long time, if they have been trying to cope with their depression by keeping themselves busy, or if their depressive symptoms are more physical than emotional.
Here is a list of the most common symptoms of depression. As a general rule, if you have experienced four or more of these symptoms, for most of the day nearly every day, for over two weeks, then you should seek help.
  • Tiredness and loss of energy
  • Persistent sadness
  • Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Not being able to enjoy things that are usually pleasurable or interesting
  • Undue feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
  • Sleeping problems - difficulties in getting off to sleep or waking up much earlier than usual
  • Avoiding other people, sometimes even your close friends
  • Finding it hard to function at work/college/school
  • Loss of appetite
  • Loss of sex drive and/ or sexual problems
  • Physical aches and pains
  • Thinking about suicide and death
  • Self-harm
i did feel some of these symptoms but mostly for a few days and not the whole day. But i guess i need to be more careful cuz this is not a children's game. 
The sad thing is that i guess i know some people who might suffer from depression without knowing. But what shall i do?  advice them to seek help , where ? and how ? 
Mental problems or diseases are a big thing here and people who see a shrink are always label to be "crazy" that's if they go in the first place. 


huffingtonpost.com has done a beautiful post on 10 things to say and not to say to someone with depression.
Here are the list:-

I'm Here For You
What to say:
You’re not alone in this.


What NOT to say:

There’s always someone worse off than you are.

( I tend to say that a lot which to think about it deeply hate to hear from others)


You Matter
What to say:
You are important to me.


What NOT to say:

No one ever said that life was fair



Let Me Help
What to say:
Do you want a hug?


What NOT to say:

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

( another guilty words of me)


Depression Is Real
What to say:
You are not going crazy.


What NOT to say:

So you’re depressed. Aren’t you always?

( i think about this all the time when i speak to someone about his problems though i never said it out loud but i guess people can feel our thoughts)


There Is Hope
What to say:
We are not on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.


What NOT to say:

Try not to be so depressed.



You Can Survive This
What to say:
When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.


What NOT to say:

It’s your own fault.



I'll Do My Best To Understand
What to say:
I can’t really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.


What NOT to say:

Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days.

( so bad ,so bad)


You Won't Drive Me Away
What to say:
I’m not going to leave you or abandon you.


What NOT to say:

I think your depression is a way of punishing us.



I Care About You

What to say:
I love you. (Say this only if you mean it.)


What NOT to say:

Haven’t you grown tired of all this “me, me, me” stuff yet?



We'll Get Through This Together
What to say:
I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself, so you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.


What NOT to say:

Have you tried chamomile tea?


**********************

So what do you think? are you guilty of any of those NOT TO SAY things. I am. 
But ,and not to defend myself, i guess sometimes that i am too down to even be able to help myself, let alone help someone else. Am I selfish? Are we ?
Shall we stop offering our help to those in need or even feeling down if we can not give it 100% ? 
Shall we be expert to know what to say and what not to say? 
Should we all learn more about such illness so we know how to deal with them? 

Sometimes i am too tired to help someone especially those who cry and complain all the time. I have my own load and i am down most times, life is not all smiles and joys. 
And i am one who doesn't express what i feel most times, yes i seem like to complain a lot in my blog, but this year is the only time i talk about stuff that happening in my life. Mostly i complain about public stuff but not what's inside of me. Even now when i cried my father i do it alone and no one knows about it. Lots of people think of me as "hard" cuz i don't show it and get so surprised when and if i show it. 

I don't know. I feel so sorry and upset over this one person i am sure is depressed but i think i can not help him anymore .

Best Celebration Ever in Football



Senin, 26 Juli 2010

It's Been a Whole Month and One Day


Today, my father has been gone for a month and one day.

It felt like it was yesterday. And i miss him.

I wish he didn't die. I wish he had lived till he is eighty or ninety or even more.

I am trying to remember the good time, but i couldn't. We didn't have the great father and daughter relationship. I know he didn't hate me but maybe he didn't know how to show if he love me.
I used to blame him , but i don't anymore. Not because he is dead but because it didn't and doesn't matter.

 sometimes parents and their kids don't have a great relationship, that's it. They supposed to but ....

I remember when he was the man of my world, i used to love him so much and care.
But something happened, something i want to bury deep down , in a place where it will never show up.
That thing changed everything and the problem is i don't know for sure if it's true or wrong. But it doesn't matter now.

I hate to say if things happen all over again, i would change things. Because this is not a movie where you will realize that time is back, you wont and things will still happen the same way it did.

Our biggest problem was my younger brother, he felt like it was ok which i can understand since he is a father , but i felt like it was everything and wanted support which he couldn't give .
It was a father dilemma and he chose, i wish he chose my side but i think my brother would of have felt left out if my father chose my side not his.
And since i had other people to support me then maybe my father chose right, and my brother is happy to have his father's side while he was alive.
Despite all, my brother needed someone and maybe my father saw that and chose to love him instead of blaming him to help him in life.
Oneday my father's love will help my younger estranged brother find his way.


I don't know if i was a big disappointment to him, at times he was to me but most times he was not. He simply was not the perfect father. He used to be very proud of me. And through all i used to be very proud of him and still.

I keep thinking about him a lot and smiling every time. I give people money in his name and i pray that Allah will accept that and reward him. 

 I wish that he is proud of me now.


Minggu, 25 Juli 2010

Great Parents !!


Almost all parents consider themselves as great , devoted and loving ones. 
Even those who beat their children to discipline them in the name of love and those who molest their daughters and sons in the name of god knows what ?

A colleague once hit her 16 year old daughter ,who is student at the in front of everyone and when we talked to her later on that she shouldn't have done that and how its going to affect her daughter, she claims that she is doing that for the sake of her daughter and to discipline her and she keeps yelling that no one is thinking of her kids' interest better than her.

The same happened with my older sister and still. She keeps hitting and scolding her teenager sons and daughters in the name of discipline and love for her kids. 

Can not love be shown in other ways ? . 
Why we need to teach our kids lessons later in their lives, when they are teenagers and grown up kids ? Where were they when they were babies ?
 Where were they period. 


If i have the chance i would strip most parents from this title. Lots of them don't deserve it. 

And as always the news is full with stories about great parents ....

*******************************

A Mother Strangle her Two Autistic children, She Wants Normal Kids. 


Mother suspected of strangling autistic children tells 911 operator: 'I want normal kids'



"Both are autistic," she said. "I don't want my kids to be like that. I want normal kids."

Saiqa Akhter, 30, was arraigned Wednesday morning on a single charge of capital murder in the death of her 5-year-old son Zain, who died Monday. Family members have said the boy was autistic and had a speech impediment.

Irving officials canceled a second arraignment Wednesday afternoon in the death of her 2-year-old daughter, Faryaal, who died Tuesday evening a day after she was revived and placed on life support.


Akhter called 911 about 5 p.m. Monday from the family's apartment.

In the 911 tape, released Wednesday, Akhter admits to wrapping a wire around the children's necks until they turned blue. Before that, she said she tried to make them drink bathroom cleaner.

"I put in their mouth, but they don't drink it," she said.

While still on the phone with the 911 operator, she washed her hands to get rid of the smell of the household cleaner.

Police found the children lying on a bed in the family's second-floor apartment along with an antenna wire they believe was used to kill the children, according to a probable-cause affidavit. Also listed among the items removed from the home were a pillow, a section of mattress and a bottle of household cleaner.

Akhter's uncle said his niece had been depressed since moving into the new apartment and reported "strange things" inside the family's home.

"It looks like she had mental problems," said Wasimul Haque, who did not elaborate on what Saiqa Akhter said she had seen. "I don't understand why she did it."

Zain, the 5-year-old, had autism and suffered from a severe speech impediment but had been improving, the uncle said. He said the boy had been in speech therapy.

Faryaal also had health problems and was rushed to the emergency room last year with a respiratory issue. A stethoscope was also taken from the home.

The children's father, Rashid Akhter, emigrated from Pakistan in the late 1990s. He married Saiqa several years later, and she then moved here. He works as a computer technician.

"He did whatever he can do with his wife to keep her happy all the time," Haque said.

The family was the subject of a Child Protective Services investigation last year after Zain was left alone at home while his parents rushed his sister to a hospital to be treated for breathing problems.

An agency spokeswoman said there were no signs of neglect or abuse.

And please no body says that she was sick, it's never an excuse. or that poor she cuz sane mothers wont do this to their kids, yes they do. 

*******************************

And another affectionate parent, a father this time ..




Evil spirits: Turki, 29, lies chained on the bed in the basement apartment where he has been for six years after being 'possessed by a genie'



A Saudi man has been chained in a basement apartment for more than six years because his father believes he is possessed by an evil female genie.
'When he has fits he has convulsions and his entire body twists and his eyes become completely white,' said the father of the 29-year-old man who has been identified only as Turki.
'Then the voice of a woman can be heard coming from him.'

When Turki first began behaving bizarrely, his father took him to local Muslim clerics to recite the Koran over him.
'But most of them became scared when they heard the female voice telling them that she was a royal jinn (genie) and that no-one can exorcise her unless Turki dies,' his father said.
One cleric advised him to shackle his son’s arms and legs in chains and read the Koran to him.
'We did this. My son became quiet but is totally unaware of what is happening around him. He does not talk and is now unable to harm anyone,' Turki’s father told Arab News, an English language Saudi daily.
But genies, or jinn, in Islamic theology can be much more sinister. Some are good, others bad.
A Saudi family last year took a 'genie' to court, accusing it of theft and harassment.
The jinn was said to have terrified the children by throwing stones, stealing mobile phones and speaking in male and female voices.
Turki lives in a tiny, two-room basement apartment with his impoverished mother and her three other children in the holy city of Mecca. They survive on £150 a month from social security.
His parents divorced before he was 'possessed'.
Turki’s father claimed he himself was afflicted by a jinn at the age of nine and suffered for more than four decades until it was exorcised by a cleric.
'I used to see a woman who would at times appear very beautiful and at times extremely ugly,' he said.
On some occasions she was 'surrounded by fire' and on others appeared 'with animal limbs'.
A Saudi human rights activist and professor in Sharia (Islamic law) who visited Turki found him to be in a 'semi-coma'.
Muhammad Al-Suhali said Turki 'did not know what was going on around him. He could not eat, drink or use the toilet without the help of others'.


And we have so many cases around the kingdom like this one. 6 years of his life had gone being chained .
 He needs a doctor, loser. 
And the problem is that no one will sue this man cuz he did to protect his beloved son . 

*******************************

If you are a parent, then please think a million times before hurting your kids. 
And if you are about to get married and wanted to have a baby, think a billion times first, cuz having a baby is not only about how cute and sweet and loving they are  
and how much you love them 
and how much you wanted to be a mom or a dad, 
it's way more and bigger than all of that. ....

Believe me i know what i am talking about, sometimes the hurt is way too much that your kids wont and can't get over it. 


Kamis, 22 Juli 2010

Haiti: 6 Month After the Earthquake


It's been 6 month on 12th of July since Haiti huge earthquake.

What have been done so far to help the country and its people ?

apparently not much. 


Dump trucks crowd the streets on July 12 in Port-au-Prince, Haiti


Haitians demand the resignation of President René Préval during a demonstration in front of an earthquake-destroyed house July 13  to in Port-au-Prince.


Haitian children play in a tent city in Tabarre Issa camp located just outside of Port-au-Prince, on June 26.


The presidential palace in Port-Au-Prince stands still in disrepair on July 12.


Protesters take to the streets of Port-au-Prince to demonstrate against the Haitian government on July 13.


Women fill up jugs with water from a water station at the Corail-Cesselesse camp on July 12 in Port-au-Prince.



A tent city in Leogane, located 33 kilometers south of Port-au-Prince, on June 2.


Thousands of angry farmers march in central Haiti on June 4. These protesters claimed the Haitian government  misled them about seed donations from the United States -- farmers fear they are being given seeds that could threaten local varieties.  


A fire burns in the street during a demonstration on July 13


A man carries a bucket full of debris out of a destroyed house in the Fort National neighborhood on July 12 in Port-au-Prince.


A child faces the water in Cite Soleil, the biggest slum in Port-Au-Prince, on April 28.





By :Laura Flynn

On a recent visit to Haiti, I sat down with ten young Haitians who are working as mental health workers in the refugee camps of Port-au-Prince. Six months after the devastating January 12 earthquake, the experiences of that day -- the terror and the losses -- remain vivid and present in the minds of all Haitians. Nearly everyone has some degree of post-traumatic stress: hyper-vigilance, startled responses, sleep difficulties, intrusive memories, and fear, anxiety, grief, and anger are widespread.
The young people I met with are part of an innovative project begun in late April by the Aristide Foundation for Democracy, in cooperation with a group of social workers and doctoral students from the University of Michigan, to provide mental health workshops to earthquake survivors in the camps. In late April, ten extraordinary young Haitian college students received training from Leah James, a PTSD specialist, social worker and doctoral candidate at the University of Michigan. (Read Leah's Huffington Post blog post describing the evolution of this project). A Haitian psychologist signed on to advise the project, and provide ongoing mentoring, and together the group created a culturally appropriate 90-minute psycho-education and coping skills workshop, which they have been leading in camps in the earthquake zone for the past twelve weeks.
On the day we met, one-by-one these young Haitians raised a hand to offer testimony. A slight, studious young woman of no more than 22, began by saying she never imagined she could do something like this. The work was hard. The initial reception in the camps had been rough. People were hungry and understandably skeptical about a project that offered mere words. With time though, she said, they'd made inroads. Now, some of the people who'd initially been most skeptical were regulars at the sessions, or regularly brought other people to the workshops. Many, many people returned to tell them they slept better after participating in the sessions, and after doing the regular breathing and self-soothing exercises that are a key component to the trainings. Some participants reported that headaches or body aches were eased, and many people described improved relations with their families. Several people who were drinking or doing drugs to escape the grief and the trauma returned to tell the mental health workers that they'd decided come to talk instead.

She went on to say this work had transformed her. She would never forget the suffering she had witnessed in the camps. But it had transformed her. She was stronger than she'd imagined she could be. She described an encounter with a woman who had lost her only child in the quake. This woman had heard her daughter's calls from under the rubble, but she had not been able to save her. Now she had no will to live -- the daughter had been her only hope in life. The mental health workers didn't know what to do. They themselves were overwhelmed with emotion on hearing this story and bearing witness to this women's pain, though they struggled not to show it. "All four of us who were there, we just put our hands on her and repeated over and over, you are alive, you are alive. That was the most powerful experience of my life."
Another mental health worker told of a woman who came to a session had been estranged from her husband since the quake. Part of the instructions in the mental health workshop is to go home and do the relaxation exercises with your family each night. Despite the estrangement, this woman had taken the direction to heart and so sought out her husband in the camp where both were living. She taught him the breathing and relaxation exercises she had learned -- this in turn led to a reconciliation, which was then celebrated by the whole camp.
A common reaction to the trauma of the quake, which the mental health workers call attention to, is difficulty in showing affection. One of the young mental health workers described how as they came to this part of the training, a woman had nodded in amazement and said, "It is like you are describing me." She'd been having a terrible time with her daughter, who had been misbehaving since the quake. But she also realized she herself had been distant, and hadn't been affectionate with the child. She came back two days later to tell them that she had spent time with the child, rocking her and putting her to bed that night. Since then the child's behavior had dramatically improved; she was, once again, the sweet, helpful child she'd been before the quake.
All of the staff at the Aristide Foundation had participated in these workshops early on and I was struck by how seriously they all took the relaxation exercises. I asked what they thought of the training they'd received. Wasn't it all talk? 'No, no' several of them assured me, they did they exercises religiously, every night with their children and partners. Especially the butterfly hug, one staffer told me, wrapping her arms around herself, a look of calm coming over her face as she did it -- she especially liked the butterfly hug.

Gladys, a long time staff member of the foundation who I've known since 1996, told me that the night after the first workshop she did with Leah was the first night she was able to sleep inside her house. Her house was not damaged, but like nearly everyone in the city, she'd been sleeping in a tent for fear of another quake. She decided to go inside, because "you have to live." She also told me she was able, after the training, to go downtown to the area of the Palace of Justice, where she had been having her hair done at the moment of the quake. The Palace of Justice completely collapsed, taking the beauty shop she was in with it. She scrambled to get out -- she made motions with her elbows, pushing forward, as if she were crawling, to show me how. Somehow she escaped the building. Just that past week Gladys had learned that the woman who had been sitting in the next chair next to her having her hair done, had been killed. Before the workshop each time she had approached the area around the Palace of Justice, she'd veered away. After the session she went back and took a good look at the place she had been. She still didn't know how she got out.
Perhaps of all the stories I heard, Frederick's was the most striking. Frederick was not technically a member of the mental health worker team. Solon, the Haitian psychologist who is mentoring the project had asked Frederick to translate during the trainings back in April, as Frederick is a language professor. But it turned out Solon had a secondary reason for inviting him -- he knew Frederick was suffering as well. Frederick, whose face I can only describe as radiant, began by saying, "You know when I first came to the training I was not well. That first day I could not even translate. For weeks after the quake, I was not myself." Frederick went on to tell his own story. At the moment of the quake he had been in a classroom teaching at the National University where he worked. The entire building had collapsed and over 200 people died there including many of the students in his classroom, colleagues and the beloved dean of the school. He had witnessed these deaths and somehow escaped.

In April, as schools were reopening, he was called on to go back to teaching. He did not know if that was possible; he was barely functioning, he kept seeing images of walls collapsing, bodies mangled. Plus to be in front of a classroom would be to reenact the moment of the trauma. But, he said, the time he spent translating in the trainings following the work of the Lay Mental Health workers, doing the relaxation exercises, and talking with Solon, had brought him back to himself. He reported that he was now back teaching in ad hoc facilities. What is more, every day he led his students through the relaxation exercises. The students, in turn, took the exercises home to their families. Frederick was now an adopted member of the Lay Mental Health Worker group, and perhaps its biggest evangelist.
The conditions of life for those who survived the quake are terrible. They need food and they need shelter -- and the international aid effort has failed them. But there is also a deep hunger to tell their stories, to find solace in the midst of suffering, and to come together in community. The young mental health workers are of course all earthquake survivors themselves; many lost friends and family members. Yet they were the most energized, vibrant group of people I've met anywhere in a long time. The work they were doing seemed in and of itself to protect them from the despair that threatens the country.









Haiti's sick 'must not be forgotten '



Six months ago, scores of British surgeons were among those who flew in from around the world to treat the wounded victims of the Haiti earthquake. Those medics are now determined that the world does not forget that the Haitians still need help.
About 230,000 people died and more than a million were left homeless by the earthquake which devastated Haiti in January.
Emergency teams were quickly in the Caribbean state, and aid poured in.
Temporary hospitals were established and experts from overseas were flown in to carry out the enormous task of caring for the wounded Haitians.
Six months later, many medical experts are worried that the plight of Haiti will be forgotten as people concentrate on newer disasters.

Plastic surgeon Ian Josty, from Swansea, spent a week in Haiti four months after the disaster and says the need is still great.
"Please remember Haiti - the story continues," he said.
"Haiti is not making headline news anymore, but the needs continue and will continue for many years."
Ian, a consultant plastic, reconstructive and hand surgeon at the Welsh Centre for Burns and Plastic Surgery in Swansea said people still need care.
"We went four months following the quake. We wondered whether there was going to be an ongoing need for surgery, but we were not under-employed by any measure. We started work at about 8am and finished about 10-11pm."
Vital care He was stationed in a tent hospital in Milot, about 80 miles from the capital and recalled: "We were able to save legs that would otherwise have been lost.
"There was a lady who had broken her tibia - shin bone - and she probably had about three centimetres of bone missing, and without the most modern techniques for orthopaedic and plastic surgery she would have lost her leg.
"We put a very specialised frame on, lengthened the limbs and put on a flap of soft tissue.
"You worry about leaving her, but she is getting good follow-up. This should save her leg and keep her walking - we have been following her up and lots of the other patients.

"One of the patients we treated had a crushed hand and because of all the scar tissue he could not move it. He was a pianist, we did an operation to free up his fingers."
But he said without the free care offered by foreign medics, many Haitians might struggle to pay.
"Their pay is often just two dollars a week. An X-ray is more than that - and that's before you start paying for your treatment."
International aid agency Merlin agreed. Its emergency response coordinator Paula Sansom said: "Haiti is still rebuilding - with so many buildings, homes and health centres destroyed, people are surviving in the most basic conditions and the health system is totally overwhelmed.
"Merlin is running mobile health clinics to give vital health care services to people who need it the most. We cannot be everywhere though, and to help ensure people have access to adequate health care - and Haiti moves forward - Merlin is also training local community health workers."
Abiding memories Middlesborough plastic surgeon Sahan Rannan-Eliya was in Port au Prince just six weeks after the quake and said the images he had seen would remain with him.
"There was this little boy called Woodoff who had his right arm amputated and his stump had not healed. He was a lovely character who didn't seem bothered and was just getting on with playing."
He said patients like Woodoff would need years of rehabilitation, but worried that they would not get it.
"The post-earthquake need will be there for years to come because amputees will need input prosthetic limbs etc.
"But Haiti is going to be forgotten, because at the end of the day it has no strategic significance to western powers."

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That's Haiti after six month. And the bottom line is count on yourself, don't count on others.