The Man

A string of confessions...

Source

He came a very long time ago...

I was thirteen...

Just realizing the troubles at home...

understanding the sexual abuse...

and many more..

I was obsessed with eating dry milk with lots of sugar and reading the Arabic "Reader's Digest"..

and then going to sleep...

was it summer... I can not remember !!

And the day dreaming and the imaginary friend came hand in hand...

I was way older for imaginary friends..but on time for day dreaming.

At first, he was the one lover who will take me away from pain and sorrow.

And I was the perfect girl combining of many different girls...

But the troubles didn't stop....and then I was the trouble...

and he refused to leave....

He was there....his name never changed...

I gave him a foreign name...I liked foreign music 

Reader's digest was telling me how great life was in America...

American were the best...

They loved woman...respect her and protect her...

So he was/is American...

I was in and out of love in a society where love is cursed and forbidden...

but he was there...

I tired to kill my self...

and he was still there...

Damn how time pass by so quickly...

And he is still there ...

People hated me..

hit me...

used me...

disrespected me..

but he never did..

And damn how time passed by...

And he is still there...

I tried to get rid of him once..

but he came to my night dreams..

Does he love me as much as I do ?

How can I let him go ...

he is the only one by my side...

When i want to drink something and die..

when i want to cut my hand...

when i want to take all these pills...

when i want to open the window and just fall..

when i want to drink something to die...

He is always there...

making way for me...

showing me the beauty of the world..

and make me smile...

The official result..

I am a crazy lady...

who still have an imaginary friend...

An imaginary friend....

who grow up to be his own self...

and I still can not be my own...

I need him...

Does he needs me...

I am crazy...

And wont get rid of him...

P.S: I stopped all comments for now and probably the upcoming posts for a reason...
it's not that I don't need your feedback and opinion...but...