It always surprises me when people celebrate after a woman finished the time she supposed to stay at home when her husband passed away, which is 4 months and 10 days, . I always think that she should be sadder realizing what she has been through and how she is not going to see him again and how life would be tough -probably-without him, but i guess i am different.
I always think of the dead not the living.
My mother finished her time -sounds like a prison time-before Eid and that day she decided to go to Quba mosque to pray. I think it's the best way.
But This Sunday her friends surprise her with a big party they held for her at our home. it's was fun. T
he funny thing is that the elevator broke down that day and we are at the 7th floor, but they still -despite being old "bodies" ladies but young at heart- went all the way up and celebrated the day with her.
She was happy, when a big number of people decide to throw you a party i am sure it means something,. she told me later on that despite being happy but she remembered my father and felt a bit sad . And that's what i mean , wouldn't a party like this be a reminder of your sadness, of your loneliness. But on the other hand, wouldn't it mean that no matter what, life is very beautiful and precious. And most importantly life goes on .
Does women celebrate the same way at your country?
what do you think it represents?
I am sorry about your dad and for your Mum and you All Allah have mercy on his soul darling i am really sorry, also my dads family r from Saudi so they do the same as yours
BalasHapusmy mums family are Somali and if a a somali womans husband dies they 4 the same period of time wear white and dont talk to men etc its called "asai" butthey go out just not to anything interesting
love
naz
xx
there is no celebration for end of (al-3edda)in jordan
BalasHapusbut on the other side...only few women whom been widowed,are comitting seriously for al3edda,as for most of them are employees,or just that there is no one around who is free all the time for providing all the family needs,so the wife is responsible for everything.
I didn't know that there was a party after the 4 months. In any case, I hope your family is doing well, especially your mom. x
BalasHapusIn America some people celebrate at the funeral saying they want to celebrate the person's life not death. They sing and dance and everything.
BalasHapusThat's really thoughtful of the ladies to throw a party for your mom. I agree it would be difficult for me in the sense that I would be reminded of my dad. I guess it represents life goes on and we should celebrate life instead of "wallowing" in death. I didn't realize this happened in your country. Is this normal? I've never heard such a thing here. Glad you shared. :)
BalasHapuswell i dnt think we will let the women stay at home only after her husband death, we believe dat if she still feel sad n moan for her husband's death she might die bcoz of heart broken, so in many ways most other women will try to help her n make her busy like joining the single mothers association,
BalasHapusSilla
Naz,
BalasHapusAmen :)
I guess it is a trend in Saudi Arabia these days.
Love the idea of wearing white and being able to go out, i guess that's alone is going to be fun in such circumstances :)
naysan,
BalasHapusit's the opposite here, it's completely committed, even works will give you 3edda time. the whole thing is that women wont ever go out.
diana,
BalasHapusnow you here lots of different kinds of parties !!
And we are doing good , alhamduliAllah, thanks a lot dear :)
Sweet,
BalasHapusyou know i have always loved this idea but i think it's hard to do in the Arab and Islamic countries cuz the dead is buried instantly so there is not time to get over the sadness and shock , but there you will have time to mourn and get over the shock to celebrate the person's life :)
Susanne,
BalasHapusit's very :). and although i used to hate the idea before when i heard about it, i loved it when it's been held for my mother. kinda took her out of her pain :)
i have heard a lot of people doing it, maybe not publicly but it's done a lot .
Farsilla,
BalasHapusi love the idea of other women helping, it's so sweet and beautiful :)
and you are right, moaning for such a long time will break your heart even more. i guess life goes on.
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. May his sould rest in peace.
BalasHapusThis celebration thingy I don't like it. The person who died isn't anyone. He's your husband. The one who chose you one day and loved to be with you.
Last Eid, my uncle died because of Cancer in the pancreas. My uncle is the most lovable and kind person on earth. He loves his wife, his kids and everyone. After his wife finished her Eddat she (herself) prepared a big feast and moved to another house with all the classy furniture. She has that big smile on her face as if she is happy with his death. She didn't care about our feelings. Mom started crying and my aunts too. I felt so sad for him. For the years he spent with her treating her like a queen but she forgot it all and decided to live happier now. I have never seen her happier than now. All the things she refused to do with him when he was alive, she is doing them now with excitement
In my opinion, It's ok if you have a dinner out with you sons and daughters as a way for wiping you sadness away :)
Symphony,
BalasHapusThanks a lot and Amen :)
i never liked the idea and still don't but was glad that her friend thought of her.
As for your uncle's wife, allows me to say, she is so rude. But don;'t regret how he treated her, it shows how classy of a man he was and how great he was and how awful she is. Karma will hit her hard one day.