Tradition and Celebration

It always surprises me when people celebrate after a woman finished the time she supposed to stay at home when her husband passed away, which is 4 months and 10 days, . I always think that she should be sadder realizing what she has been through and how she is not going to see him again and how life would be tough -probably-without him, but i guess i am different. 

I always think of the dead not the living. 

My mother finished her time -sounds like a prison time-before Eid and that day she decided to go to Quba mosque to pray. I think it's the best way. 

But This Sunday her friends surprise her with a big party they held for her at our home. it's was fun. T

he funny thing is that the elevator broke down that day and we are at the 7th floor, but they still -despite being old "bodies" ladies but young at heart- went all the way up and celebrated the day with her. 

She was happy, when a big number of people decide to throw you a party i am sure it means something,. she told me later on that despite being happy but she remembered my father and felt a bit sad . And that's what i mean , wouldn't a party like this be a reminder of your sadness, of your loneliness. But on the other hand, wouldn't it mean that no matter what, life is very beautiful and precious. And  most importantly life goes on . 

Does women celebrate the same way at your country?

 what do you think it represents? 

Sunday Videos. Women's Voices Now

A beautiful site where it shows short stories and documentaries about Muslims women all around the world or minority women in the Islamic world. 

I choose the following cuz they touched me the most. But there are many more, you wan watch on  

Womens Voices Now

I Accept, Accept, Accept

Feminin Masculin

The Unveiled

Thorns and Silk

Afghanistan: Zarghoona’s Story

Niger: Djamila’s Story

Thoughts in a Hijab

Jazbaa (A Strong Will)

Source:  Womens Voices Now

Friday Good Reads (11/ 26/10)

Survival :-

-No ones knows what's life holding for us, good or bad, don't think it wont hit you. Read these Ultimate Survivor Stories1, 2, 3, 4  just in case.

-how did the 33 Chilean miners survive ? a glimpse into that with Mario Sepulveda's first interview.

- A look at the life inside Gaza. Inside Gaza – The Contradictions of Determination.

- 20 Tips That Could Save Your Life. 

Miscellaneous:-

-Seven years after the invasion of Iraq, two opposite stories. Bittersweet memories of life in Iraq during invasion.

- we spend our times doing millions of things, but life can be a lot easier if we decide what is worthy of our time and not. Attention. 

- what it means to be a partially blind. Amazing look into this in If bridges look like this, you could be going blind

-Four million children are wearing the wrong-size shoes, according to new research. Why don't children's shoes fit? an important article for parents.

- the United Nations' cultural organization (UNESCO) is worried about historical and traditional sites. But here are some of traditions that might need protection !!  . 10 Traditions You Never Thought Needed Protecting

Religious issues:-

-Pakistan's treatment of minority is taking attention because of the death sentence issued against a Christian, but what was happening before that sentence.Sentenced to death: On Pakistan’s minorities

- How does Saudi Arabia trying to improve its image during the Hajj. Saudi Arabia less rigid with Muslims during haj

Pain:-

-It's never in my head when i talk period's pain. Can Menstrual Cramps Change Your Brain?

- This one pain can not be identified easily and it's the worst during the period. "Living" With Endometriosis

- Some pains need to be paid attention to. Here are 10 Mysterious Pains You Shouldn't Ignore

Women's issues:-

- It is more dangerous to be a woman than to a soldier in modern war. Scary, right? then read this article Women, War, and Peacebuilding, D’OH!  

-Great idea from an Israeli activist campaign to raise awareness about human trafficking. ‘Women for Sale’: An Israeli Campaign Against Trafficking

- an interview with four young Muslims ladies and their fashionable Hijab. Four hip hijabis talk about their relationship to the headscarf and fashion 

- Nearly half of London men aged 18–25 think sex with women too drunk to know what is going on is not rape. Mona Altahawy and  Why Are We Still Blaming Women For Rape?

Photography:-

-Liu said he wanted to show how city surroundings affected people living in them.

He added that the inspiration behind his work was a sense of not fitting in to modern society and was a silent protest against the persecution of artists.A look at the invisible man artist. I'm just trying to blend in: Can YOU spot the 'invisible man' artist

-All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.- Leo Tolstoy. Check this beautiful Family Love: Oil, Cement, Music gallery.

- Great collection from this year National Geographic's Photography Contest 2010 from the Boston Globe's /The Big picture. 

- Children should care about nothing, have fun and just play but not all are that lucky. Sad pictures in Children of the Mines

- Afghanistan in the past, a lively country. Once Upon a Time in Afghanistan...

-It's maybe too early but Reuters have issued some of the year's best in pictures. Best of the year

Arabic Articles:- 

كيف يتفاعل الصحافي مع قراءه  حينما يرفض المسؤول التجاوب, هالة الدوسري تروي ذلك في من أطفأ الضوء

The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

Yes, it happened to me and it's still haunting me and i am still afraid from those men who abused me and still verbally. I still can not trust the idea that i might not get abused physically again. 

I maybe couldn't have fight it, but i did in words, i get it out of my chest. 

How many women are still suffering silently? 

Today, the 25th of November is 
The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

 By resolution 54/134 of 17 December 1999, the General Assembly designated 25 November as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, and invited governments, international organizations and NGOs to organize activities designated to raise public awareness of the problem on that day. 
Women's activists have marked 25 November as a day against violence since 1981. This date came from the brutal assassination in 1960, of the three Mirabal sisters, political activists in the Dominican Republic, on orders of Dominican ruler Rafael Trujillo (1930-1961).On 20 December 1993 the General Assembly adopted Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women (A/RES/48/104).

You can read the declaration here 

But what is violence against women ? 

 

The United Nations defines violence against women as any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.

What are the forms of violence against women? 

There are many forms of violence against women, including sexual, physical, or emotional abuse by an intimate partner; physical or sexual abuse by family members or others; sexual harassment and abuse by authority figures (such as teachers, police officers or employers); trafficking for forced labour or sex; and such traditional practices as forced or child marriages, dowry-related violence; and honour killings, when women are murdered in the name of family honour. Systematic sexual abuse in conflict situations is another form of violence against women.

 

What are the effects for violence against women?

Health consequences can result directly from violent acts or from the long-term effects of violence.

• Injuries: Physical and sexual abuse by a partner is closely associated with injuries. Violence by an intimate partner is the leading cause of non-fatal injuries to women in the USA.
• Death: Deaths from violence against women include honour killings (by families for cultural reasons); suicide; female infanticide (murder of infant girls); and maternal death from unsafe abortion.
• Sexual and reproductive health: Violence against women is associated with sexually transmitted infections such as HIV/AIDS, unintended pregnancies, gynaecological problems, induced abortions, and adverse pregnancy outcomes, including miscarriage, low birth weight and fetal death.
• Risky behaviours: Sexual abuse as a child is associated with higher rates of sexual risk-taking (such as first sex at an early age, multiple partners and unprotected sex), substance use, and additional victimization. Each of these behaviours increases risks of health problems.
• Mental health: Violence and abuse increase risk of depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep difficulties, eating disorders and emotional distress.
• Physical health: Abuse can result in many health problems, including headaches, back pain, abdominal pain, fibromyalgia, gastrointestinal disorders, limited mobility, and poor overall health.

What about the social and economic costs?

The social and economic costs of violence against women are enormous and have ripple effects throughout society. Women may suffer isolation, inability to work, loss of wages, lack of participation in regular activities, and limited ability to care for themselves and their children.

Who is at risk?

Though risk factors vary, some characteristics seem to increase the likelihood of violence. The potential risk factors can be grouped into the following subsets.

• Individual: Personal attributes associated with higher risk of violence include: limited education, a young age, lower socio-economic status, limited education, a history of abuse and substance use, and, for partner violence, the choice of partner. Partner traits that put women at risk include alcohol or drug use, low educational level, negative attitudes about women, and witnessing domestic violence against women or being abused as a child.
• Family and relationship: Within families, risk of violence increases with marital conflicts, male dominance, economic stress and poor family functioning.
• Community: Within communities, the risk is higher where there is gender inequality, and a lack of community cohesion or resources.
• Societal: On a broader level, higher risk is found in societies with traditional gender norms or a lack of autonomy for women, and where there are restrictive laws on divorce and ownership and inheritance of property, or when there is social breakdown due to conflicts or disasters.

Facts:-

Every year, about 5,000 women are murdered by family members in the name of honour each year worldwide.

At least one in three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or abused in some way, most often by someone she knows

Around the world, there are 80 million unwanted pregnancies, 20 million unsafe abortions, 500,000 maternal deaths and 333 million new sexually transmitted diseases each year. Adolescent girls are particularly at risk.

Women are becoming infected with HIV at a faster rate than men and in Africa they outnumber infected men by 2 million. Older men are infecting teenage girls at a rate that is five or six times higher than the rate among teenage boys.

Two million girls aged 5 to 15 are taken into the commercial sex trade every year. 

Sexual assault and violence take away almost one in five healthy years of life of women aged 15 to 44. In Canada, the health-related costs of violence against women are estimated at $900 million a year. 

Some 130 million girls and young women have undergone female genital mutilation.

Women and girls worldwide ``across lines of income, class and culture are subjected to physical, sexual and psychological abuse.''

An estimated 4 million women and girls are bought and sold worldwide each year, either into marriage, prostitution or slavery.

A total of 1,400 women a day still die in childbirth, the equivalent of four jumbo jets crashing. 

Between 40 - 57 per cent of women will experience physical or sexual violence by a man at some point in their lives, according to a University of Queensland academic. 

Survivors' stories: Three abused women find way out, discover their worth

Register-Guard (Eugene, OR)/November 14, 2004 

By Matt Cooper

Three women from different places, different jobs, different backgrounds.

They have two things in common: They were beaten, and despite the danger of leaving a violent partner, they got out.

The women don't know each other, but when they talk about domestic violence, they speak with the same voice. All three said they were "brainwashed," that the physical and emotional abuse left them believing that they deserved it, that they were the ones at fault, not the abuser.

All three lost their identity and their independence - so completely, in some instances, that they couldn't order for themselves in a restaurant or figure out how to spend a Saturday.

All three came to accept that they can't change someone else, that they can only change themselves. The women also echoed one another in recalling what it took to get out.

First you have to find yourself, they said. Then you have to back your words up with action. You have to believe that you deserve better. The women share one more thing: Today, all three are happy and healthy.

JeriAnn learned to endure the hitting, the kicking, the choking, the verbal and emotional abuse.

But the reddish-blue bruises across her little girl's thigh - the size and shape of a man's handprint - pushed her over the top.I have to get myself out of this, she said to herself. I have to get my children out of this. It was 1987, in a small town near Portland.

JeriAnn had been married for seven years. She was the mother of two curly-haired girls, 5 and 3 years old; a boy would come later. Her husband wasn't abusive at first, just controlling. But over the years, the control turned into black eyes and split lips - weekly attacks that she accepted, because she thought she had done something wrong to provoke them. A vicious fight one night ended with JeriAnn at a friend's. When she returned home in the morning, she checked on her 5-year-old, who had stayed in the house with her husband. The girl pulled back her plaid skirt and showed the bruises; she had been struck for asking her father why he couldn't stop drinking.

"I just started crying," JeriAnn said. "I realized this wasn't just affecting me. This was affecting my kids. I decided at that time, I'm out.". Through a Christian support group, JeriAnn devoured material on codependency, coming to realize that the abuse had replaced her identity - her sense of self - with blind obedience to her husband. She confronted her pain in excruciating counseling sessions - "like peeling your skin off from the inside out," she said - and a new woman eventually emerged. "I decided I didn't have to have a man in my life," JeriAnn said. "Being a single mom felt pretty darn good." .For the first time, she started backing up her words with action. She called her county's victims' assistance program and learned what the law could do to protect her. She received a restraining order and began the divorce process; when he violated the order she called the police. She got a guard dog and a handgun. She wanted answers to her questions about divorce, domestic violence, personal safety. The more she shared, the more people offered to help. He fought her for two years, stalking her while he also delayed or missed court dates; he sent her notes that read, "I love you." But as the divorce played out in 1990, he started another relationship and moved on.

JeriAnn, of west Eugene, is 45 now. She's an elementary school secretary who relishes working with kids and parents, especially the troubled ones. She is strong but affectionate, with a calm, confident gaze to match her propensity for giving hugs. In December, she'll celebrate 13 years of marriage to a man who treats her like a queen. He's her best friend; he writes poems and hides them for her to find later. Her younger daughter is a college student studying to become a nurse. The son is a student and athlete at Willamette High School. And the 5-year-old? She's 22 now, recently married to a good man, JeriAnn said. Sometimes she has to pinch herself.

"My normal life to me is a pretty good dream," she said. "It was gut-scratching hell to climb out of the hole. I'm lucky I made it out. It's so good now, sometimes I forget the past."

Desiree found salvation at a New Age bookstore in a small California town. At 17, she had been an independent thinker, a strong student who challenged the deferential roles relegated to women in her branch of the Baptist faith. She peppered her Sunday school teachers with questions that made them squirm. Marriage changed her. She married at 23, to a man she'd dated in high school - the first man she'd ever dated, the first she'd ever kissed. There were ominous signs, but she missed them: He burned with anger if she so much as talked to another man, but she mistook it for love. "When he got really jealous and upset, I thought to myself that he must really love me if he can't stand for another man to look at me or talk to me," Desiree said.

During 10 years of marriage, the abuse escalated. He was careful not to blacken her eyes or knock out her teeth - unmistakable clues for the world to see - instead throwing her against a wall or smothering her with a pillow until she started to black out. He was a real estate broker, a wealthy man respected in their community. She was just his appendage. The independent thinker had been systematically beaten down, replaced by a woman who thought that if she just remained quiet, everything would be OK. But the bookstore shouted at Desiree to speak up.

She walked in one day in the early 1990s, and quickly found that she was in her element among the incense and crystals. Desiree eventually left her cashier's job to work at the bookstore. She read feminist writers Gloria Steinem and Mary Anne Williamson, Ginny Nicarthy's "Getting Free," and books on Wicca, a religion that promotes, in part, male-female balance.

She realized that she had done nothing to provoke the abuse, but it was up to her to stop it.

She stopped hovering over her husband, stopped asking permission. She took to a quiet corner of the house and read to herself. She developed her own friends, ones who valued her for who she was. "It reaffirmed that I actually had a self to share with people - that I was a living, thinking person with something to offer," Desiree said. He stranded her at a friend's one night in 1993 and that was it: She moved out the next day and divorced him within nine months.

Today Desiree, 42, wears a pentacle - a five-pointed star - around her neck. It's a Wiccan symbol, one that represents natural and spiritual harmony, and her second husband respects it just as he respects her. They have a 6-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son, and they live in a cozy, forested McKenzie Bridge home with more dogs, cats and chickens than can be easily counted. When not running her child care business, Desiree draws, paints and reads.

The bitter memories, a decade old now, still make her eyes well up. But nothing more.

"My life is infinitely better," Desiree said. "Everybody has challenges and struggles, but there's no comparison between now and then. I only wish that I had known what the future held for me - how much better it would get."

When he tucked the rifle under her chin and told her that she was going to die, calmness washed over Debbie. "I had accepted it," she said. "The fear actually dissipates." Instead, her husband jerked the barrel up, throwing her head back as he discharged a round over her face.

She had married him at 19, and they lived in Nevada around 1985. He was a mountain man, strong and deep, and she had loved his passion. He said he needed her for his very existence.

But it wasn't healthy, Debbie said. His drinking was an embarrassment for her, and when the physical abuse started, she thought she was the only woman in the world experiencing it.

She used to watch cars motor down the road - she saw the happy couples inside, and she thought to herself how lucky the women were not to have to worry about being beaten tonight.

She had left before, but his threats to harm her mother and sister always brought her back.

Either I'm going to die or he's going to die, Debbie thought to herself, and she contemplated killing him. The rifle blast ended it. Debbie was gone in two days, her resolve galvanized by a rediscovered spirituality. She planned it all out. She needed a 30-minute head start before he would realize she was gone, lest he tear up and down the highways in search of her.

She warned her friends and family to say nothing, then took off, ultimately arriving at an old friend's in Junction City, a friend that he didn't know. She left no note, no phone number, no way whatsoever to find her. Debbie was 25, and she owned the world. She started doing the things she wanted to do: She made her own friends, she chatted up her neighbors, and she bought a house, fixing it up and renting out a room, all on a waitress' salary. And she learned a lesson.

"If I dated a guy who seemed in any way controlling - in any way - I would just get rid of him so fast it would make your head spin," said Debbie, who did just that on one occasion.

Today, at 44 and living in Eugene, Debbie works for the Eugene School District. She's an active parent and an engaged political volunteer. She feels a deep responsibility to help others.

Debbie has been married for 16 years, and she has a 15-year-old son by her second husband. Both, she believes, are rewards for the change she made. Her husband respects their political differences and her occasional long hours as a volunteer and a helper in their son's school. He honored her need to design - and redesign - the two-story farmhouse that they built together.

Most important, perhaps, he respects her need to be alone. Debbie likes to go to the coast, where she sits on the beach with her dog, Jack, and writes about her feelings. "You have to have some self-worth in order to be able to leave," Debbie said. "You need to say, `Hey, I'm worth something, I deserve better.' When I think about my life before, it seems like a different lifetime. It really makes me appreciate what I have.

"Now I feel like I'm one of those people that I looked at in the car and wished I was."

Violence Against Women in Saudi Arabia
There are no specific number for abuse of women in Saudi Arabia, it's a hush hush story but things are starting to change, slowly though
This what the Amnesty International Says about Saudi Arabia and violence against women in its 2010 report, The State of The World's Human Rights. 

Discrimination and violence against women

Women continued to face severe discrimination in law and practice. Women had to have a male guardian to travel outside their home, get married or access many public services. Women remained banned from driving. In June, however, Saudi Arabian officials told the UNHRC that the government would take steps to reduce discrimination against women, although no significant changes had been introduced by the end of the year. In April, the Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women issued a report on her visit to Saudi Arabia in 2008. It noted modest reforms, but concluded that the high level of discrimination against women

compromised their rights and dignity. It found too that various factors, including women’s lack of autonomy and economic independence, practices surrounding divorce and child custody, the absence of a law criminalizing violence against women, and inconsistencies in law enforcement and the administration of justice, prevented many women from escaping abusive environments. It further noted that violence against female domestic workers was not sufficiently recognized by the state. The media highlighted several cases of violence against women.
 In February, a 23-year-old unmarried woman who was raped by five men after she accepted a lift, was sentenced by the District Court in Jeddah to one year in prison and 100 lashes for fornication outside marriage and trying to abort the resultant foetus. It was not clear what action was taken against her alleged rapists. 
In July, a man shot dead his two sisters after the religious police arrested the women for associating with men not related to them. The murders were carried out in front of the father; he “pardoned” his son on the grounds that he had been defending the family’s honour and there were contradictory reports as to whether he was brought to justice. After negative publicity about the consequences forwomen of early marriage, there were moves by official bodies to address the issue.

Promise :

Never to commit violence against women 

Never to excuse violence against women and 

Never to remain silent about violence against women 

Go to this page and add your name to those who says No to Violence Against Women

http://www.saynotoviolence.org/join-say-no/thank-you?nocache=1

A Call At night






Is this Honour ?






Post Violence






Whose Honour?

Basita






Behind the Wall

Sources

http://www.peace.ca/oneinthreewomen.html

http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs239/en/

http://www.uq.edu.au/news/?article=22250

http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/violence/

http://www.rickross.com/reference/abusive/abusive14.html

http://www.unhcr.org/refworld/category,COI,,ANNUALREPORT,SAU,4c03a805c,0.html

http://womensvoicesnow.org/

About Maids

The news here is all about the maid that is tortured in Medina. And i have read so many opinions about it, so many contradictions that it made me sick.
As we have read that the Indonesian government has halted the coming of women who wanted to work as maids in Saudi Arabia from coming . Honestly i am happy to hear that and wish that this will stop for good. 

Most comments to these news were "it's great" "we don't need them" "witches" "murders" ...etc. Rarely you would read something useful and if you find it , but "even they" would be followed by the main topic.As it happened with many writers in the news papers who kept saying that almost all Saudi are good with their maids so let's not generalize and even they....

Let's be honest about something, there are so many reasons about the mistreatment of maids in Saudi Arabia. i would lie if i say i know half of them, and i can not and wont even sympathy with any.
Are we good with people who work with us in general and that these incidents we keep hearing about are rare situations? . Are we -as a country and citizens- targeted by the foreign media ? Are we simply the best and people are jealous from us and hate us for no apparent reasons? 

The answer to all above is "No". 

The biggest problem here is not anything from the above, the problem is that we can not speak and if we do/did we are going to be labeled as not patriotic, not a good Saudi, westernizer, not Muslim, or not true Saudi -not like not true patriotic, but don't belong to a tribe- .

I know that this is a period , probably a long one, but it will be over. The same as domestic violences and how it was a hush hush topic and now we have governmental committee dealing with such things and father and mothers being sent to jail for being violent with their kids. Yes , the resistance against such movements are still but other voices can be heard too. And i do believe that only through these voices things will be better and the image our country have is completely changed.

Why do we torture our maids , drivers and anyone who works for us? 

But the most important questions is...

why do we torture people who are mainly from poor countries, mainly southeastern Asia and Arabic countries? And can not raise our voices against someone from Europe or North America? 

Yes, we have no respect for Arab or non-Arab.Muslims or non-Muslims in general . But why poorer countries than non ?. 

Is it in our genes? i don't think so. I know huge number of Saudi and who would give you the world but when it comes to maids and drivers, they turn to monsters. Is it frustration? Is it our weakness? we are weak so we can control only those weaker than us ? Is it political ? European countries and America will fight for the rights of its citizens but government  of poor countries don't care? 

Some would say that "even they" , they killed, tortured our children and go out with men and brings them to our houses...etc.
Yes, some of them, like some of us, are pure evil. But this doesn't justify this and rarely do we have cases where a maid or a driver who committed a felony or a murder who is not in jail or even executed. 

Plus "A" hurt "B", who the hell is "C" to get retaliation for "A" ?

Some kill, yes. My mother's cousin was killed by her maid but that doesn't mean they are all are killers.

They hit kids and torture them ? . Be honest and tell me if someone ask you to leave your kids for seconds with that woman in the mall/park/street till you go do a quick thing and be back, would you agree? . 

Then why the hell would you leave your children with someone you know nothing about, someone who might be sick or pervert. Plus, some of the housewives treat the maid so badly and then leave the child with, i mean for god's sake, you slap her, hit her, spit on her and maybe iron her and then leave your child. Unless you have no emotions you are not going to hurt this child .It's completely wrong, but it's you who cause it. 

They flirt with men and get engaged with them in different ways. Well, that's maybe the norm in their tradition or countries. it's ok to fall in love or flirt. So what, you bring someone and force them to adjust to your lifestyle? 

Next time, think a million times before bring someone you know nothing about to your house. 

I have wrote about Maids in Saudi Arabia before. Read it to know if the way they live around us and with us.

This is an amazing video in Arabic by a Lebanese group, it's satire about the situations of maids in Lebanon. Believe me the situation is almost the same in here. The translation is below- by the same group-

Mme Najem advises Lebanese women on the subject of Domestic workers, and she has a lot to say.

0:05Doulica

0:06She's great, great, very smart

0:08She's been with me for around six months

0:11It's like she's not even there

0:12Like it's still her second day here

0:14That's how stupid she is

0:15God hasn't graced them

0:16They are poor, pitiful people

0:18And they don't have money

0:19They take baths in the river

0:22Now that she's here she wants some shampoo

0:25And all their lives they scrub their hair

0:26And they remove lice from it

0:27Now they're trying to be all fancy on us

0:34She works every day

0:35Every day, every day she works, of course

0:37Vacations? For what? To go shopping?

0:40Or

0:41To go find some guy like her

0:44And come back a pregnant woman?

0:46Let her stay in the house and do some work!

0:48Wake up at 5:30 am every morning

0:50When I wake up I want the house to be done

0:52Clean and shining

0:53Doulica!!

0:55Doulica!

0:56Me, I wake up late

0:58I have hundreds of things to worry about

0:59I have my morning coffee with friends

1:00I have my hair, my nails

1:02I have my shopping

1:03I have tons of things to do

1:04I'm not going to wake up at 5:30

1:06That's her job

1:06I'm paying her $150 for it

1:09What do you mean you're not doing anything?!

1:10Am I paying you to do nothing?

1:12Sitting here all relaxed, you want a massage?

1:14She thinks she's my friend? I don't listen to her

1:16Look

1:17You're seeing me like this but I'm smart

1:19I'm smarter than them

1:20They can't outsmart me

1:21Her daughter, her mum, her aunt in the hospital

1:24And they're living alone

1:25Because there was a tsunami

1:27And it destroyed their homes

1:28These things don't work on me

1:29Telephones? Not allowed

1:31What do I know, she probably has some kids

1:34But they're used to it, four five years away

1:36And they don't see them

1:37They probably don't recognize their kids later

1:39I know about these people

1:40They're like rabbits

1:41They give birth and throw them on the streets

1:46She takes the pressure off of me

1:47Sometimes Zein cries and nags and screams

1:50He tires me

1:51One second he's hungry

1:52I don't have much time

1:55He says some words sometimes

1:56I smile to him and stuff

1:58But then I go talk to her

2:00I tell her she has to speak to him in Arabic

2:02Once I gave her a slap

2:03That she will never forget

2:04I slapped her on her face like she won't forget

2:06She forgot to speak Sri Lankan

2:07And started talking to him in Arabic

2:10Of course I don't take her to the beach

2:12Because

2:14First of all she's already black

2:15She's not going to get more tanned than she is

2:17And

2:19And it's disgusting to be in the same pool

2:22I'd feel like throwing up

2:23Like a black liquid

2:26I was very proud of Lebanese beaches

2:28Especially the ones that have some self respect

2:31Places that know that the clients that they have

2:34Wouldn't accept being in the same place

2:36With their maids

2:37You know?

2:37So I was very happy and proud

2:39It was good news

2:40That's why I go to the beach

2:41A lot

2:44Look honestly, I've been thinking recently

2:46Because of how crazy she's driving me

2:48She's making my hair go white

2:50I thought of maybe getting a Philipino

2:52Where's the crystal squirrel?

2:54Where is the crystal squirrel? Look at me!

2:56Look, Philippinos

2:58Aren't as disgusting as Sri Lankans

3:00But some of them are darker than others

3:01It's like

3:03Like tops, for example

3:04There's dark grey, light grey

3:06That's how they are, they have different colors

3:08Between dark and light

3:10But they still are

3:11Those, black people

3:13Now they're trendy

3:17I hear they're good

3:19Aren't they yellow?

3:21Philippinos?

3:24Oh, I don't know

3:25Philippinos are yellow?

3:27I don't want a yellow girl

3:29No no I don't want a yellow maid, no

3:30My hair isn't yellow it's golden

3:38Umm, depends

3:39Per month?

3:40Don't say that people will think I'm dirty

3:42Around three or four times a week

3:45I get bored from the color

3:47Depending on what I'm wearing I change

3:49And I do the same with my hair

3:50Like now it's blond because the weather is nice

3:52When it's raining and stuff I dye it brown

3:55Sometimes wavy

3:57I like it

3:58I like matching my hair and my clothes

3:59How does your hair look in autumn?

4:01It depends, in autumn it's usually dark brown

4:03It looks very good, great

4:05Look, look how empty the house is without it

4:06Are you happy like this? Are you happy?

4:08Is there anything you haven't broken yet?

4:09You're so clumsy!

4:10Come here! Come!

4:12Get out of my face!

4:15I advise every Lebanese woman

4:18Every single woman who has a maid

4:20Not to spoil them

4:21Before there was slavery

4:23Now we're giving them more room

4:24We've started to pay them

4:25But this doesn't mean a lot has changed

4:27I advise them to be careful

4:30And to lock them in

4:32And to take their..

4:33Basically everything I'm doing they should do too

4:35Because this way they'll live calmly

4:37And without any worries

4:39This is what I say to all Lebanese women

4:42Thank you Mme Najem

4:43Mme Najem

And also from Lebanon this , but be advised there are heart breaking pictures, Suicide in Lebanon

Another beautiful gallery about Unseen Lives: Migrant Domestic Workers in Lebanon. They are just normal people trying to make a living. And read this from the same site. 

Also read this interview with A Photographer Who Helped Reveal The Conditions if Migrants in The UAE. .

or check her site Matilde Gattoni

I know for sure that one of the reasons why we torture maids is our believe that they are way below us. So can we even convince people of a project like the following ? 

Photos a Leveller for Maids and Their Employers

by Daniela Estrada

Published on Saturday, June 19, 2010 by Inter Press Service

SANTIAGO  - Fifty pairs of women -- maids and their employers -- from Argentina, Chile and Colombia abandoned their daily routines to pose for photographs for a project about the hierarchical relationship that unites them.

The photography exhibit "Lugar Común" (Common Place), by French-U.S. photographer Justine Graham and Colombian visual artist Ruby Rumié, opened Jun. 15 at the Museum of Visual Arts (MAVI) in the Chilean capital.

"We were both interested in the issue of domestic employment in the Latin American context, and over time we created this platform to show the points that these women have in common as they share the domestic environment in a hierarchical work relationship," said Graham, who like Rumié has lived many years in Chile.

The artists used a variety of poses to portray each of the employer-employee pairs: seated, standing, facing forward, facing each other, or facing backwards. They found the women for the project through family members and friends in Santiago and Buenos Aires, and Bogotá and Cartagena in Colombia.

For the photos the employers and maids wore the same thing: a white shirt and no jewelery or decoration. With the images made under these "equalizing" conditions, the artists leave it up to the viewer to guess -- using one's own cultural codes -- which woman is which.

In total, 100 Argentine, Chilean and Colombian women, between ages 19 and 95, posed for Graham and Rumié and answered 15 items on a questionnaire, including the number of children they have, their wishes and fears, the age of their first menstruation and when they lost their virginity.

The exposition at the MAVI runs until Aug. 8. It has two walls with the photographs of the pairs portrayed facing forward and backwards, and three videos that show how the project unfolded in 2008 and 2009.

One of the videos shows the women posing in the photo sessions, and another shows some of the participants invited to a luncheon served by women university students.

The third uses graphics that group the women according to the characteristics they share, for example, those who have two children, those who fear being alone, and those who have lost a loved one.

"Each pair had a different relationship; some were much closer, lasting 30 years or more, and others knew each other just three or four months," said Graham. But for all of the pairs, it was difficult to be photographed looking each other in the eyes, she said.

In Rumié's view, "in some way, all Latin Americans who have experienced this (being cared for by a domestic employee) feel a debt to these women who have turned over part of their lives to the intimate chores of another family, often even giving up their own personal lives."

The reality of the domestic employees who work "behind closed doors" in Chile was brilliantly portrayed in the 2009 film "La Nana" (The Maid), directed by Sebastián Silva and starring Catalina Saavedra. The film won several awards at U.S. festivals.

In Latin America, paid domestic employment is mostly carried out by women. The "nanas" -- as they are known in Chile -- total 14 million and represent 14 percent of all working women in the region.

In recent years, several Latin American countries -- Chile, Guatemala, Paraguay and Uruguay -- have established policies that improve working conditions for maids and nannies. But in general, this type of job lags behind other forms of work.

While some places domestic service is increasingly professionalized, there are still cases of near slavery and child labor, experts warn.

During the project, Rumié found that "fortunately there has been a change" in labor relations within the household in recent years, with greater respect for maids, who in turn are less submissive.

But more than highlighting the negatives and lack of job security that these women face, what interested the artists was to show how society tends to "stratify a person" based only on appearance, said Rumié.

"We are completely guided by our prejudices," she said, and in the case of domestic employment, many of those ideas are holdovers from the Spanish colonial era.

"This project is not only a visual staging, but also an initiative that provided a symbolic experience for the women," she added.

"The act of seating them facing the camera in the same position was an exercise in dignifying the two women, so that they would look at the camera with the same pride, with the same openness."

In November, some of the photographs were published in the magazine "Paula," of La Tercera newspaper. The show is slated for exhibition in Washington in July 2011.

 Source 

A better site of the gallery where you can zoom in the pictures. http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2010/06/19-3

Can you check this pdf file , it's amazing. Lots of amazing picture. http://www.a-verare.com/Espanol/Documentos/Lugar_Comu_Graham_Rumie_2009.pdf