it happened about twenty years ago when i was about 12 or so , i decided to ran away from family problems , abuse and the rest by imagining what would it be like to live abroad -particularly America- alone , working and found love. i would be laying for hours on bed, sometimes listening to music , imagining and enjoying my time away from home. the i created people , gave them names, faces, sounds and smell. and only one of them stayed with me, i gave him a name and chose him to be my boyfriend, created a story for the two of us . that was long time ago, and i called him an imaginary friend because he lived with me, helped get along from the hell surrounded me.
the problem is that he is still living with me.
now he has a life of his own, life i drew for him, and he had to follow, actually he do rebel sometimes. i tried my best to get rid of him and i do sometimes but then all my dreams would be about him . i know it's sick and i know that the mind doesn't differentiate between reality and fiction , but sometimes or actually most times i don't want to let him go cuz he still helping me get along with life and yes the continuous hell . it's long and complicated story and maybe i need to see a shrink to get rid of it, but who will help me get along. i can see how our lives's ,and i mean the life of me and those around me , impact on them. usually when i got a problem , i only had to go to sleep or even just lay on the bed and think of the same problem happening to him and i would find solution or just a smile and the courage i need. but part of him is getting out of my mind into the real world cuz if you do observe me you would notice me saying strange things or things in English or talking to my self or the least smiling for no reason, some might think I'm crazy but if you knew, then you would know that these are his life's conversation I'm creating and saying at the same time. it's a shame that a woman in my age would still have an imaginary friend and I'm torn between keeping him alive and get a long with my crazy life or kill him and get killed by my crazy life. or maybe there are other options i don't know about !!!
Why don't you work? Spending your time outside the house would help you a lot!!
BalasHapusi do work dear, i'm a teacher, but you know that no one has nothing to do like teachers here, it's just 6 hours and then the rest of the day.
BalasHapusi'm trying my best to get rid of him, lol, it dounded as if i'm talking about a real person.