Update on Not a Good Week.

Well, I talked and yelled and said it loud and clear

" I need help and you are doing nothing, losers" .

From the day the landlord said that we should leave, my brother decided to help by not going to work. I yelled at him twice and each time he said he will help and swear he will. I told him that if you want to help then give the money to my mother. Even my mother laughed and said "will see".

We know he won't give a dime from the money he promised and he made big promises , how can he when he didn't go to work for five days !! . He locked himself in his room the whole week watching TV and only come out when he hears our voices talking about an apartment my mother checked and ask his most important questions " how many bed rooms are there ? " .

Well, yesterday was the day I yell again and that was because it was the turn of my sister. I told her to go ahead and check the free training and that no one is going to hire her with no skills . she kept saying that she felt sorry for me when she knew about us leaving the flat and wondered how am i going to have the money . I told her to stop feeling sorry for me and to help, she said that she knew they can not guarantee her a job and i told her to at least try.

Then my brother came and promised his big promise . He went to work yesterday barely !!!.

As for our mission to look for a flat goes .

We went to our previous landlord - they have an empty flat right now- at first they said that they will give it to us and then SOMETHING happen and they said that it was giving to a man and he had paid the deposit and would be here in two months.

We kept looking but nothing.

We thought of going back to our grandfather buildings and I told my mother to tell my uncle that we will take two flats- cuz one is way too small- and give him extra money-god help me find that extra money- but then we changed our mind because there are people living in one of these flats and we can not do to them what's been done to us, though we know that my uncle would love the extra money.

The next day, my mother told me that another flat will be evacuated in the same building of our previous landlord, in about three months. So this time my mother and I went to talk to the landlord and I told him i will give him a deposit right now to keep it for us. But he said no.

you can tell that he doesn't want us back and there are questions and things he wondered.

He seemed a good man and i was not going to leave easily so i kept talking to him, so he told me that we are close by and we can come back for the flat when we see the new tenants leaving. Me and him even discussed the way I am going to pay.

And then the question came- the thing that was lurking in their mind, the thing that made them say no before- . He turned towards my mother and ask her a simple questions " where is your oldest son that is living with you? " ,she explained that he is married and with his family.

But he said no, the other one and my mother and i looked at each other because we knew whom he was asking about.

He was actually asking about "the younger brother" -but because he is big everyone thinks he is the oldest-.

He was asking because that's the one who has been and still is drinking , making trouble and annoying everyone. He is actually the reason why our previous landlord asks to leave the place in a week 12 years ago.

Neighbors complain about him and his drunken friend coming and going of the building. They were afraid of them . And who can blame them.

The man also told us how our reputation was damaged because of him and the police coming a lot to our places. My mother told to him that we kicked him out a long time ago-probably 10 years now- but of course he doesn't know because he still comes to see mt father and my brother -the one still living with us- and usually meet them at the door of the building .

See how people can remember the bad things, we have been asked to leave that building about 12 years ago and people still doesn't want US because of HIM- and some dumbasses still asks us to take him back the poor he.

He sounded relief when he knew that he doesn't live with us anymore. And Said inshAllah things will be fine, will it ? I don't know. I am hoping and we are still looking just in case.

One of the good things about the whole situation is that i explained to my mother that i need from 3 to 4 years for all my debt to be paid. And then we can have our own place.

I am willing to pay more to the banks than to live in the same situation again.

I never thought that I could dream big dreams:) .

InshAllah .

P.S: excuse my french, I guess I have a bad mouth when I am mad .