A Letter to my mother

Dear Mother,
Tomorrow is the beginning of the Spring season and we Arabs couldn't find a better day to celebrate your day . Arabs are geniuses :) .


You were there in the heat of the summer when we had no extra money to pay for the coolness of the air conditioner but you never mind working, cleaning and sleeping in the heat so we would enjoy the cold breeze. And when we had a bit of extra money , you still wouldn't use the air conditioner so we can save that extra money .


And you were there in the winter when we couldn't pay for the heater , you borrowed money so we would be warm. You didn't stop cooking hot meals so we won't feel cold, they have to be hot all the time as you say.


You were there in the fall when no one cares. I was born in the fall , do you remember that ?, did you know that our life will be like the naked merciless trees in the fall . Facing the world alone. Is that why you stay ? , is that why you kept having faith in your sons and daughters?


Mother, i know that i was born when you were only thirty. What were your dreams back then? .
Did you dream of a better husband? . Did you wish you had the opportunity to study and work so you can count on no one ? . Did you have any dreams at all ? . Mother, Can you believe that i do not know of any of your dreams !!!


Mother, Did you have a choice when your family refused to take us in when you wanted to leave my father? Did you think for a second that you shouldn't stay with him and leave us ? or did you turn around and go back with him ? . I know that you never regret it because you didn't want to leave us .


Mother, how did you feel knowing that you were married to a bad man, a man who would beat you, harm you and your kids, put your kids in harm's way, do the unthinkable ? . Mother, how do you feel right now when he is sick and still calls you name yet you still help him and clean him ? . Mother, have you ever thought of revenge especially that now you can ?


Mother, how did you feel being hopeless and in need ? How did you feel asking people for money to help the six you have at home ? .


Mother, how did you feel when you grow up finding ungrateful kids around you. How did you feel when they hit you ? call you bitch and adulteress ? call you money seeker ?


Mother, how did you feel knowing that your younger son have turned into a drunken young man? . How did you feel when he beat you and throw things at you ? How did you feel when everyone blames you for his problems? .
Mother, did you know that i used to sleep peacefully at night while his drunken friend were at home because i know you wouldn't sleep afraid he and his friends might harm your two daughters ?


Mother, how did you feel having to let him leave your side for good to protect the rest of us ? How did you feel knowing that he is going from prison to prison?, I know and i have heard you crying too many times missing him but you refused to let me feel it's our fault , the way others make you feel .


Mother, I love you wouldn't describe how i feel towards you. I am sorry wouldn't express my regrets towards the life you have to endure because of us.


Mother, remember when i was younger and stupid and always take my father side without understanding and realizing what's going on !! . Believe me when i swear that i regret each seconds i spend being ungrateful .


Mother, i wish i own the world , i wouldn't think twice to hand it to you.


Mother, all i want from Allah is to reward you with heaven .


Mother,e my life is worthless without you.


Happy mothers day to you and to all mothers of the world :)

* Mother Day is celeberated in the 21st of March in the Arab world .
A worth reading article : Mum and me : what does mother day means to you ?