Poverty is a Shame.

A week ago, i was writing a post about poverty but then i decided against posting it, it was very harsh. But this topic needs people to be harsh.

Anyway, Manal's comment urged me to write again. Maybe someone will listen.

Unlike some other topics, this one can be very personal to me, cuz we were poor. Sometimes we couldn't find 10 Saudi riyal-3.75 dollars- in our house. My father worked once a month to bring 300 riyal-about 75 dollar- and do nothing the rest of it.

For a family of 6 children and their parents. It was nothing. We were saved more humiliation because we lived in our grandfather's building. But everyone was sure to make us understand that GIFT and how a huge burden we were.

I don't know what might happen if we have to pay for rent, too.

My mother used to borrow money from people and her sister. She never let us know how poor we were. When most of us grow up corrupted, everyone blames her for the way she raised us. People forget that when you poor, you only think of how to provide money for your kids.

Go on and read how poverty affect people and their morality. Poverty affects all kinds of people's lives.

When we were kids, i don't remember asking for something and didn't get it, i didn't know we were poor . But i do remember that she would go borrow money for me and my sister to buy the books and the clothes we need .

Now things are better. Tough but way better. Better because i work and have my own salary, tough because we are still 5 and i am the only breadwinner of the house. Life is getting tough and everything is becoming crazy expensive. Thanks to Allah i have my work to support us, but i remember once when my mother commented after watching people buying stuff for the Eid " what about those unemployed ladies, who will buy them any thing". I know that she remember her self and how tough is it.

I know that here in Saudi Arabia we have a society issue with poverty. We recognized it but we don't know how to handle it. Lots of social idea affect our ways of life that pull us towards poverty and we can not do a thing about them. But if we start having the courage to change them , maybe things will be different. Maybe not becoming the filthy rich but you won't be the poor one, too .

We are a consuming society. Artificial things drives us mad.

A city like my city -Medina- which is not that big has more than twenty shopping centers. And the funny thing is that you will find the same stores in all of these centers.

We go crazy with brands. I was one of them especially with shoes and bags, i have huge number of them with different colors and shapes. They cost me lots and lots of money. And if it was not for the problems we are facing right now, i don't think i would have stopped. If i didn't buy a new thing for about three months, i consider that is a very long time and a sacrifice on my part !!! . And i look at my wardrobe with anger cuz i can not find a thing to wear.

We go crazy with sales and pay ever more -because we have what people call a false sale - .

Imagine the money spending here and imagine how much we can prevent ourselves from stepping one step close to poverty.

Our love and worship for artificial things goes to life itself.

Building houses , the biggest and most important rooms must be the guests rooms. Sometimes we have three to four rooms for guests only. And they have to be decorated and furnished with the most expensive and beautiful furniture. We need big houses because of this.

Imagine the amount of money we are going to save -or even give to the poor- if we build our houses for US not our GUESTS. An expert said last week that we can built a house this way with about 300,000 Saudi riyal. The cheapest house you can find is 850000 SR, and the bank will take a similar amount of that. So about 1700000 for a house !!!!

and it does not come with furniture :)

We take TOO much care of our kids that they grow up so dependent.

Your sons and daughters will have the best clothes no matter what- i know how parents feel towards their kids but sometimes we spoil them instead of parenting them- .

At school the students will have the best shoes and bags -i can see it at my school with girls i know how poor their parents are-.

There is no lessons about the importance of money and how hard it's to get it. There is a daily lecture from me to my students about the fallen- because they are still work but fall of the desk and they didn't pick them up- pencils and pens and that are new but they didn't get it back, the fountain pens that are not locked which may let it dry even quicker, about the half full bottles of water they bought and won't take home with them because their friends will laugh at them if they did, the half eaten sandwiches, they hate me because of my daily reminder. But i know how poor most of them and they need to realize the importance of small things.

There is a tendency that we don't want our kids to feel lesser than their peers. It's not because we feel sorry for them but we don't want people to know we are poor. Poverty is a shame.

If our kids didn't happen to be smart enough at school- and ALL our kids must be number one- or didn't get good grades. Then they- our kids- decided to attend a private school -for better grades not better schooling and that's another topic- and my parents shall pay, no matter what.

Or else-else could be crying, stop eating,locking our selves, have no respect to our parents, decided not to go to school- and best of all if the parents didn't apply then they will simply fail themselves by not participating in classes or at exams. Then the poor parents will have to borrow money and enroll them in a private school, according to the parents they want their kids to have a future,. And the funny and sad thing is that these students will have the same grades or even worse at the private schools and then have to be back to public schools.

One of my colleagues is a widow, her husbands's salary is very little and yet she decided to build a house for her family. She has 5 kids. None of them is doing OK at school and with all her problems and how she is trying to have a house for her kids, her biggest daughter who left school to go to a private one and the poor mother have to pay insisted on having an engagement party few months ago- which failed by the way- and now the one who is studying at our school insisting that she will go to a private school next year and that her mother will pay !!! .

When her mother talked to me about it, i told her to explain that they can not afford it but she seems helpless . It's the way we raise our kids.

Let's forget about girls. The biggest problems is with our sons. Because he or they-if they are are more than one boys and oh how much we love boys- have to have a car - the brand will go with how much money you have-, and they have to have cell phones.

Why they are the biggest problem ? because men have way better chances of having any jobs, even the worse or the less paid. But no way we are going to let them go and find themselves a job and help with the family. Most will say that they don't want them to be distracted from their school, but hell if they are doing any good at school, .

Plus it's a shame if you would ask your sons and daughters to pay for electricity or water or grocery.

Our kids will live with us after finishing high school being unemployed and still require his/her parents to give them money. And if he is 25 and still no work, it's OK if we find him a wife because he is in the right age, we will pay for the marriage and it's a disaster. Then it's OK to pay for his life, kids and wife.

Remember that big house we HAVE to build a few paragraphs up !!! .

Now , how many sons do you have ? according to their number, you have to build flats for them. Because come on, we can not leave them with out a future or a place to live when they are unemployed and married or employed and married. why pay when Daddy and Mommy can save us the trouble !!!

Hello, all the above are not away from the topic -poverty-.

All of the above is why we are poor.

Tell me what do you think of this lady and her family.

There is a nice lady whose daughter studies at school- you can not see the girl without the finest makeup and the best hair , plus the good shoe and bag, I even saw her with a cell phone once- , The girl has very low grades, and she won't even try the least to do any good. I saw her mother once and twice at school and i thought she was coming to check on her daughter.

Little did i know !!! .

The mother has started to sell some food at the school. She would make some food and sell it to teachers- i knew then from other sources that she used to come to school because someone used to give her money and they advice her to cook and sell instead of asking for money-.

I had a beautiful conversation with her last time, she told me that she have five kids-two girls and three boys-. The eldest girl who i met before not knowing that this is her mother have finished school but was not lucky in finding a job or going to college.

She took some computer lessons to find a work but it was not any help-the mother had to borrow the money they paid to the instructor-.

The three boys-or men actually- all finished their school. And what are they doing now ??

Sleeping at home. Because ?

They don't want to work as security guards !!! .

Well, what do you expect when you have no degree !!!. Those with the highest degrees can not find proper jobs !!!

And of course they ask for money and their phone is dead for about two months and they wanted it back.

I asked here why didn't she work at the women centers to sell her food there so she would have a steady job and here comes the other shock !!

Her husband -who works as a guard and receives only 3000 SR for 7 people- refused and said that it's a shame !!!

and yes a working woman or a woman who help her husband can be a problem for some people.

She is so sweet and every time she came to school hoping for some money .

here is the problem, no body buys a thing -only a two or three buy with about 10 maximum-.

So every time i collect the rest and buy them from her. She knows that i am trying to help her and every time she told me that she can not let me do that every time, that's it's not fair.

I keep assuring her that it's OK and that i want to do so. She leaves determining not to come back, but the she keeps coming back and if she didn't find me, she will look for me everywhere to ask me if i want to buy anything.

It's obvious how much she needs the money-it's not a lot , something like 150 or less SR-. Last week, she called me to ask if she can come to school -because of the exams-. She knows no one buy a thing but she keeps coming, those few riyals means a lot to her and can help with something.

What's frustrate me is that everyone -except a very few -keep ignoring her.

I told them last time that they don't have to take that food with them, they can give it to those who don't have food. And this way we help more than one , but people don't listen!!!.

That's what i do mostly, i divide the food into portions and give it to the workers around the school and sometimes gives the sweets to my friends to give them to their children.

I hope that they do listen soon. I am not saying i am the best and they are the worst but i don't know why people stop helping !!!!

And that's why poverty is spreading hugely.

People stopped helping . everyone thinks i don't have ENOUGH money so i won't give.

And then we call ourselves great Muslims. Did not the prophet say that a Muslims won't be a good one if his neighbor slept without food !!! .

But we do have ENOUGH food, we do when we take our kids to the park and spent a 100 SR the least, so 10 riyal won't cost us a thing.

People will leave a supermarket with carts full and pass by a poor without giving a thing and those who give will put few riyals in their hands and "we don't have enough money for our families".

I saw these things. i watch my society.

I was leaving a big bookshop once when i saw an old man was standing in front of the door asking for money and people keep passing him by with their bags full of expensive stuff and books.

We have a strange notion of not helping. We claim that these people are not REALLY poor and that they are pretending, really ??? .

OK, let's believe you , so what 's the problem if you give this poor liar beggar some money??.

how do you know that he is a lying ?

because we READ it in the newspaper and the advices that we shouldn't encourage beggars, they are showing a really uncivilized face to our country.

Now that's the only thing uncivilized about our country ??

It's just an excuse not to help.

But remember , some of them were in good position before and one day you might be in their shoes ...

Oh and yes if that poor person happens to be a non-Saudi. Then, whey the hell they don't leave our country and go find help in their countries. !!!!

Did anyone think that's that what brought them here in the first place, their countries are poor and this country SUPPOSED to be rich.

And don't let me talk about the role of the government and their institution and organization and what did they do to help the poor.

It's scary and the number of poor people are rising. And rarely do we help.

Remember last time when i said i wanted to collect some money for the poor. Actually it happened that i can not do that because the government has very strict rules into collecting money thanks to Al Qaeda and 9/11 .

What a way to help Muslims, jerks !!!.

And we keep calling ourselves Muslims. The irony is that the "infidel west " pays to the poor world way much more than the Poor Arabic and Islamic world does.

On final note, two days ago the Saudi newspapers have announced that the number of rich Saudi have increased 14 %. Mabrook, now help your poor fellow citizen.

The article explained that to be included in this list you have to have a MILLION, just one. The Total number of rich Saudis now is 104,000.

I won't judge the 14% yet, poor they. They just got their first million, let them enjoy it and then we can talk about them.

But what about the old ones,

what have they done to their societies and the poor ?? .

don't tell me they do it secretly. It's OK in Islam to show what you give if your intent is clear.

So what have they done?

Why are the number of poor increasing? .

Except a few names -like Abdalltef Jamel- we rarely hear about them.

Now that's the real shame .