Sabtu, 26 Desember 2009

We Are All Laila , My Mother :)



In my previous post
here i talked about the initiative called " We Are All Laila" and explained why i am going to write about my mother :)
My mother is a woman in her 60's , an uneducated and poor, she was not married young like all her peers back then, she was actually 17, which is a bit old at that time in Saudi Arabia. From the beginning she knew she was stuck with an irresponsible man who take drugs , who abused her verbally and physically , she didn't work and can not go back to her family cuz they made it clear it's you alone who is welcome but you should leave your kids, so she had to choose her kids and stuck with the abusive husband . She saw her kids being abused in all ways imagined and couldn't do a thing because there was no one to help her and no one to take care of them. one thing she could do was to stay with them and love them. They grow up and needed to go to school and there is no money for the most important thing and she still doesn't work so she had to ask people for loans, some would give her and ask her not to give it back , like her younger sister and brother who i can not be thankful enough for , the rest she had to get another loan to give them their money back and she was in a circle of debts for a very long time. She could go back to her parents and siblings long time ago but she chose her kids over everyone. Her kids grow even bigger and the trouble began , some of them followed on the route of their father. some simply didn't care.
Did she do it worng? how can you raise kids when your husband teach them that it's ok to go ahead and bring drugs for him , no body will suspect a child, ? how can you raise a child when men molested your child in the presence of their father? , how can you raise a child when your husband take your daughter to a man who claims love and rape her ?. She could of have left, but she stay, they are her kids, she love them and they will be fine. what can she does when her kids start attacking each other ? she chose hardly this time but she had to protect the weak ones and she did. she called the police for one of her kids when his drinking problems was way than her abilities to love him , shelter him, help him and protect him, she had to throw him out of the house when she knew he was dangerous and that he or his drunken friends could hurt her daughters. she still cries at night ,he is her baby son after all and she misses him hugly, but she had to protect the rest. Her kids grow up to be like their father and did the same as he did , abuse her physically and verbally and she still loves them. God, how i wish that she left and would not be stuck with this. Maybe she could have had a better husband and better kids !!
The result 2 out of 6 turn out to be good to her , and she is still strong for these two, cuz she knows that the minute she falls, my sister and i will fall.
That's a short summary for almost 66 years of my mother's life. she is my hero and she still think i should love my father no matter what .

i love you mother :)

16 komentar:

  1. I just Cry when I read this

    WOW really she is a HERO

    MAY ALLAH bless Her

    BalasHapus
  2. That was so sweet and touching. I am really sorry your family has gone through this, Wafa'. My heart breaks for you. Your mom is such a hero. What a precious tribute to her. Thank you for sharing this.

    Hugs!

    BalasHapus
  3. Your mom was in an impossible predicament. I know if I was faced with the same, I would choose my kids, how could she abandon them? It sounds like she did the best she could with the situation. :(

    BalasHapus
  4. God bless your mother. If she is not living a happy life now, I am sure God is saving a better place for her up there ,ba3ad 3omr 6aweel of course :).

    BalasHapus
  5. Mothers are often put in impossible situations. My mother was in such a situation. Stay with an abusive husband? What about the kids?

    It is easy to sit back and be critical of what women like these choose, but no matter their choice, they do it with the best interests of their children.

    God bless them.

    BalasHapus
  6. your mother...you, and your siblings went through so much...

    this wasnt a post i was expecting to read. its not common for middle easterns' to speak up about such things....but you spoke up..it happens way to often!
    no matter what you think or anyone says....you are so very strong and amazing!!!
    now i understand why you arent sure about men.... i went throught it to, (my stepfather)...and i never thought i could have a normal relationship with men after my childhood...
    the memory is always their...but your spirit gets stronger...

    BalasHapus
  7. Dr. Emad told me about how nice is your blog
    he is right

    BalasHapus
  8. bent men masr, thank you so much for your beautiful and compassionate feelings towards my mother :)

    Susanne, she tuaght me and still that i should move on and be strong, she is my hero :) . thanx a lot for your beautiful words and hugs, they meant a lot to me :)

    Aynur, lots of times i wish she had left, things might be easier for her, but she prefers not to , honestly i am glad that she didn't, i know i am selfish but i needed her and still :)

    Poet, that's all i am praying for , that Allah will reward her greatly for the suffering she had in this life :)

    ابو سنان,are not mothers they best in the world ? :) , but sometimes you wish they care a bit about themselves :) God bless your mother and my mother , and All mothers :)

    angie,you know i am scared to be in her situation one day, scared of being with an abusive man cuz i know what she taught me is the right thing and that i will stick with my kids no matter what, life here is not easy espically when the law is not always by your side. thank you for your encouragement words :)

    Marwa, thank you and i am grateful that a man like Dr. Emad say such things about my blog :)

    BalasHapus
  9. you should be just as proud of urself as you are of ur mother

    BalasHapus
  10. Manal, my wife, went through the same thing with her ex husband. Luckilly, she was able to get a divorce, escape Saudi, end up with both of her kids....then meet me!

    Sometimes there is a "happy ending" at least for the wife. In our case her ex is still a looser and doesnt take care of his kids.....so we struggle and do it ourselves.

    BalasHapus
  11. eshda3wa, thank you dear :)


    ابو سنان , Manal is a very powerful lady to be able to do that. and the idea that she took her kids with her is amazing :)

    BalasHapus
  12. I can barely believe my eyes. I've heard stories of such things happening in Saudi, but you are the first I heard talk about it. I am so proud of you and of your mom and of your sis. May god grant you all happiness and peace. You deserve them.

    BalasHapus
  13. ISIS, thank you dear for your wishes and prayers :)

    BalasHapus
  14. Well, she had help. Her father paid a $10,000 bribe to the judge to make the divorce happen. Initially she left her 1 1/2 year old son there and left to the US pregnant.

    Her ex couldnt take care of the boy, so his family called her to come get him and she had her daughter in the states.

    So she had guts, and some help, alhamdulillah.

    I think you'd be surprised at how many Saudi women are in the West after having fled such circumstances. I think we hear about it because of what we have gone through and since Manal is married to a Westerner.

    BalasHapus
  15. BTW,

    You have another blog that looks like it requires permission to enter. I'd like to read it if I can. If it is personal or such, then I understand.

    Cheers!

    BalasHapus
  16. ابوسنان, i always believe that wehn you have your parents help in any way, life could be easier. and about the saudi women in the west, yup i have heard about it. i have a story to tell about similar situations and i will be writing it soon , hopefully.
    As for the other blog, it's waiting it's time from excution. i made to write a huge story in my mind -not personal ones- but then got busy and it's stuck there empty. who knows maybe i will write about this huge storr one day in my blog :)

    BalasHapus