It's been almost two month -one day short- since i have been around. At first it was confusion over the death of my aunt and everything goes with it. And then it was a decision to reflect on my life, you know the typical decisions that come with big events in our life.
There are so many things i want to change in me, cuz i know now that it's not in my hand to change my life, my surroundings. I will always be in this big prison with this fucked up family so if you can not change the world, try to change yourself, right? .
The problem is -which i knew long time ago and it was a reminder this time- you can not just isolate yourself and start to right your plan on a piece of paper and then come back to life to following that plan.
And i am not good at sitting on the corner deep in my thoughts thinking of what to keep and what to change.
it was not all a failure. I did learn some lessons and learn how to deal with some fucking annoying people by being with them not hiding away from them.
I still think that i need to change a lot in me to have a better life, a life i can call my own, don't we all? .
But what i knew for sure these two months is that you can not live your life by being away from it !!!
