I am Sick

I'm sick and tired, couldn't keep my eyes open and always sleepy. it started almost a week ago , and will last for at least 5 more days.

no , I'm not sick with any thing serious, it's just my stupid period, it's usually takes about two weeks of pain until it's due and then three more days of pain until things starts to be normal again. it's been like this for about three years now and don't know the reason for this constant pain and agony, tried everything from pills and all kinds of medicine till herbs. it really annoys me a lot and don't know what can i do to stop this pain, i wish it stop altogether . I've read about a pill which you can take for a whole year and then it will stop, it was experimental, i guess, in America. i wish i can put my hand on this pill. pain pain pain and i hate pain . why can not we have a life without pain ? i do envy women who feel nothing but some hormone changes or a headache. of course i do feel that beside the pain . this is what i feel pain in my thigh, one thing each month, pain in the back, pain in my breasts, headache, the need for peeing constantly, stomachache , dizziness, feel sleepy all the time.

so what can i do ??

Hitlar and Stc .

مو معقول وعلى الجرح

unbelievably funny

Antichrist

yesterday, i saw ''Antichrist'' , it was a very strange movie, i have never seen any similar movies, and when i say similar, i mean the way the movie shot .

the movie is about a couple who lost their child and the mother's grief.

it starts with a prologue and then chapter one, two and so on .... . it's a dark , full of gore moments , shocking and somehow disgusting.

the movie made me think about how can people very close to you be your therapist . I've never been to a therapist, though i wish . but is it easy, can they help you ? what if they were part of the problems i have ? . you know when i started this blog some days ago, i thought of telling some of my family, but then i changed my mind, i want to write about every thing here, about my deepest emotions and secrets , about things we can not tell to close ones, so by having them read my blogs, is like allowing them to go so deep in my heart and mind which i don't do usually. i know , have not write anything special so far but i will definitely.

also, in the movie, they were practicing grieving techniques . seriously, i never know about any techniques, i mean i was faced with tragedies in my life and those techniques could help a lot. :(

This is a poster of the movie and a trailer

in the beginning ...

OK , so I'm fed up with all the forums i joined, I'm fed up with could not communicate . I'm a not a talkative person, so i thought that forums will give me the oppportunities to discuss ( in writing) issues with people and learn about their lives and communities, but all the forums i join are either too vulgar or too religious !! . can't we have a middle position ?? . I've tried to have a blog before, but each time i chickened and either don't complete the registration or delete it , i have created at least four blogs yesterday !! , and now here I'm and i hope will continue. I'm not going to write about Saudi Arabia and all the injustices here, I'm just going to write about things i like and hate - big word this one ''hate'', huh? - such as movies, books, pictures, music, and so on .... and of course about me , my life as a woman in her thirties , a working woman ...etc.

this is about me , so if you thought that this is boring, sorry...... but this is my life ...

see you in the next post :)